Food Punster Gifts

You heard right - one large cheese pizza, and tell the driver to take it out of the box and leave it in the yard,

"Lots of people want to hold me, but no one really cares."

Deviled HamDeviled Eggs.

"I'm a lacto-ovo-everything-else-that-tastes-good vegetarian."

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

"Processed food was his undoing. He was eating a salad sandwich in the warehouse, when a pallet of pork pies fell on him!"

"That's it. We’re toast."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Wordplay: Rabbit Punch.

"A little lamb please."

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'All right, so you've prepared your resignation . . . let me have it!'

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

Prize vegetables with rude names.

"The pompano poached in parchment is very alliterative tonight."

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

"It's made with real angel hair."

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

Octopi a la mode.

"Okay,let's go through this one more time. I asked for a LEMON in my water, not a LEMMING."

If Einstein had worked in Fast Food

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

'Ah, here's your problem - all this spaghetti is real spaghetti.'

Pickled beets.

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."