Food Punster Pillows

"I'm a lacto-ovo-everything-else-that-tastes-good vegetarian."

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

"Processed food was his undoing. He was eating a salad sandwich in the warehouse, when a pallet of pork pies fell on him!"

"That's it. We’re toast."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'All right, so you've prepared your resignation . . . let me have it!'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

Wordplay: Rabbit Punch.

"A little lamb please."

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

"Okay,let's go through this one more time. I asked for a LEMON in my water, not a LEMMING."

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

"The pompano poached in parchment is very alliterative tonight."

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

"It's made with real angel hair."

Prize vegetables with rude names.

'Ah, here's your problem - all this spaghetti is real spaghetti.'

Pickled beets.

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

"I'm going to start with the antipasta."

"So this bacon in my ear - d'you think it can be cured..?"

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

"Guac-A-Mole"

"Tell me, is a single spaghetti a spaghetus or what?"

Noodle exchange program.