Foodie Punster Pillows

"That's it. We’re toast."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Wordplay: Rabbit Punch.

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"A little lamb please."

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

'All right, so you've prepared your resignation . . . let me have it!'

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

Onion Guillotine

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

"The pompano poached in parchment is very alliterative tonight."

"Okay,let's go through this one more time. I asked for a LEMON in my water, not a LEMMING."

"It's made with real angel hair."

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

Pickled beets.

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

"And that makes 6! That should be enough to cater for the function tonight. . ."

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

"Guac-A-Mole"

(Omi God! Pigs in a blanket!)

"So this bacon in my ear - d'you think it can be cured..?"