Culinary Punster Pillows

'Our food has the top Michelin rating.' 'The food or the tyre?'

Famous Side Dish Trials. The Cabbage Case. Now, tell the jury what happened after the chef pulled out his knife …. (Sob) It was a SLAWter!

"But I ordered death by chocolate."

"I'll beat 'em up, then Louie, here, will do the real damage. But we ain't cheap."

"It's true escargot will add calories to the meal, but very slowly."

"That's it. We’re toast."

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

'Jurassic Pork.'

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

K9 Literati

'Out, damned Spot.'

"I have such strong feelers for you."

Mystery of the Poets

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

2B or not 2B

Wordplay: Rabbit Punch.

Optometrist Humor

"Hallelujah!"

Prize vegetables with rude names.

Deviled HamDeviled Eggs.

"The pompano poached in parchment is very alliterative tonight."

"It's made with real angel hair."

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

ACME Condiments Quality Control. The boss wants to know if you're going to pass the ketchup.

You heard right - one large cheese pizza, and tell the driver to take it out of the box and leave it in the yard,

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

Alternative Dickens: Oliver, having received more, requests a doggy bag.

'Ah, here's your problem - all this spaghetti is real spaghetti.'

"Norman is an island."

(Omi God! Pigs in a blanket!)

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

"Tell me, is a single spaghetti a spaghetus or what?"

Lit. Exam. I carefully read "Ulysses," "Dubliners" and "Finnegans Wake," but I was kicked out by the teacher for calling the exam a "multiple-Joyce" test.

Noodle exchange program.