Dining Punster Pillows

"That's it. We’re toast."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

Dogs life

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

Note Book

Wordplay: Rabbit Punch.

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

A Tongue Stud.

"It's made with real angel hair."

"Hallelujah!"

"The pompano poached in parchment is very alliterative tonight."

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

"Listen, you're no picnic, either."

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"But I ordered death by chocolate."

'Well, I just met the girl of my dreams -- you know, the kind you have when you eat anchovy pizza right before bed.'

"Behold the geometry of pizza: square, circle and triangle."

"Processed food was his undoing. He was eating a salad sandwich in the warehouse, when a pallet of pork pies fell on him!"

Pork Sausage.

'I'm not the first visionary who's been accused of extreme optimism.'

"It's true escargot will add calories to the meal, but very slowly."

"It's ok - you're not the first man to lose his head over a pretty girl. . ."

Flower: 'I wouldn't go in there if i were you Pal. The place is full of Skinheads.'

fried eggs...

"I just had a horrible dream - I was wallowing in apple sauce."

'Relax...I heard our opponents today are huge pussies.'