Food Pun Master Pillows

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'Shuck me.'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"A little lamb please."

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

'All right, so you've prepared your resignation . . . let me have it!'

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

Onion Guillotine

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

"Okay,let's go through this one more time. I asked for a LEMON in my water, not a LEMMING."

Pickled beets.

(Omi God! Pigs in a blanket!)

"Guac-A-Mole"

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

"And that makes 6! That should be enough to cater for the function tonight. . ."

"I'm going to start with the antipasta."

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

"So this bacon in my ear - d'you think it can be cured..?"

Human Fingers: The Fish World's version of Fish Fingers.

What on earth are you doing? Well, you wanted battered sausage, didn't you?

"I hear this place is a hotbed of international pancakes."

"Bingo, that's what I thought: It's a blood-sausage!"