Parental Punster Gifts

"I don't get it, Susan... I've been an obstetrician for 20 years and I've never had a baby named after me!"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Dogs life

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Dog Walker

Pet Cemetery.

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

"I'm too old for a baby-sitter. How about hanging a portrait with the eyes that always seem to look at you?"

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

Psychologist Birthdays

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

Darling, you should have asked me to put sun tan lotion on your back and not the kids!

"The real question is do you really need a cracker?"

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

"Can you give me some sort of metaphor for how you're feeling?"

'Daddy! Are you using the number forty clipper?'

'You did that on purpose!'

Claude

Licker Store