Parental Punster Mugs

"I don't get it, Susan... I've been an obstetrician for 20 years and I've never had a baby named after me!"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Dogs life

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Dog Walker

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

"I'm too old for a baby-sitter. How about hanging a portrait with the eyes that always seem to look at you?"

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

Darling, you should have asked me to put sun tan lotion on your back and not the kids!

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

"The real question is do you really need a cracker?"

"Can you give me some sort of metaphor for how you're feeling?"

Hamlet.

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

'Daddy! Are you using the number forty clipper?'