Parenting Pranksters Mugs

Birth of a worrier

'This has been a test of my emergency broadcast systems.'

'Daddy's still up - I can hear him unlocking the firearms cabinet.'

'Daddy! Are you using the number forty clipper?'

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

Dad Trophies

'Hey, I think my parents fooled me. This game is called 'Algebra Hero'.'

"No! I am your father!" "Noooooo!"

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

Wait – is that your dad? Tunnel of Love.

Kid about scratched up car to dad: 'I made a mistake washing the car with a brillo pad.'

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

ABC Diapers. Comfy Tushy Diapers. Now 3 times more absorbent! Note to self: Drink 4 times more juice.

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

"I'm too old for a baby-sitter. How about hanging a portrait with the eyes that always seem to look at you?"

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

It is always something whenever Grandmother watches little Louis.

Back to the Holidays

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

'Did you find any clothes?'

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

Darling, you should have asked me to put sun tan lotion on your back and not the kids!

"I'm ready to play Hide and go Seek."

'I am unable to find the words to respond to that.'

Possible Titles For My Upcoming Autobiography

"We should get a lot of money from the tooth fairy. I set out grandpa's false teeth!"

Remember, when we show mommy, we pretend this was your idea, ok?

'No problem Mr. Billings, just drop your shorts and let me take a sniff around there.'

Children in a Nursery.

'I'm not looking for treasure. I'm trying to find where I buried Dad.'