Puppy Punsters Gifts

A dog reads a newspaper

'Now listen: The best time to lick the kids' faces is right after lunch...'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'Iguana know what time it is.'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

Dog Walker

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

'Hopefully this will not have a negative impact on my dinner.'

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

Cookie Thief

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

He Did It!

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

"Did you or did you not perform the fake ball toss on my client, causing irreparable humiliation?"

'Nice try, Billy, but dogma is not a puppy's mother!'

Hang Time Fido