Poodle Punster Gifts

"So the vet says, 'If this is my thermometer, then where's my pen?' . . . Get it!? . . . IS this thing on!?"

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Dogs life

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Pet Cemetery.

Dog Walker

Litterary Dogs.

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Hallelujah!"

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

A dog reads a newspaper

'Don't worry, I would never tell the other free range chickens you're agoraphobic.'

Licker Store

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'Nice try, Billy, but dogma is not a puppy's mother!'

His Other Shtick

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

'Shakin' bacon.'

'That's Princess... formerly 'Prince'.'

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"

'Play dead.'