Newspaper Carrier Gifts

'Weren't you our newspaper carrier years ago?'

'That was fun!'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

Reading the sports pages.

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

Rhinoceros Is Most Intelligent Ungulate

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

'Scientists say that crosswords activate brain...'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

"Well, I think we come back as newspapers." "You're nuts."

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

Cleaner dusting under man's toupee.

Dog traps the postman.

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Dog bringing paper and paper boy.

'It's a new rule, sir - There's a seven-day waiting period for stamps now.'

'The kids are grown and gone now, but they always keep in touch.'

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

New Marvel Heroes

'Beware of the teenager.'

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

Home Business - Newspaper Ad.

"Look, you got mail! Press the 'fetch' key."

"Anything for me?"

'Read ALL about IT! While we're STILL in Circulation!'

Paper Boy

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."