Newspaper Reader Gifts

'The cat's finishing off your sudoku again.'

Recycling centre - newspapers,magazines,unfinished sudokus.

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

Tea, Rex?

Deer Hunter and his trophies.

"Say when."

Rhinoceros Is Most Intelligent Ungulate

"It was just his way of showing you some affection"

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

Unsocial Media

Cleaner dusting under man's toupee.

'That's nothing new. Thatcher had a similar plan, but she called hers; 'Every man for himself'.'

Stiller than a deer in headlights.

Dog fetching a newspaper and then reading it himself.

Guide dog reader.

Army officer reading below a mobile with his medals hanging from it.

'Says here John Edwards is going to need surgery to fix his heart.'

"Darling, there's an offer for a time-share nest in Florida: Should we apply?"

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

"Yes, it is strange...usually he reads the 'Daily Gossip'."

'Hey, loan me the sports section.'

'Incessant barking, constant complaining, same thing.'

Suicide

'Do you make or earn money father?'

"Dry sherry sir..?"

"Have you read the 'head lines?"

'Reggie, are you reading the paper or are you hiding from something?'

Daily Tribune

Comic moms.

Man with aeroplane behind him

Beggars Find Global Warming Hard To Believe In.

'Didn't you know that I read the comics every morning before I take the newspaper to Master?'

'You might show just a little more interest, Simkins, while I'm giving you the sack...'

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

"Seriously? You want to challenge me now? Can't you at least wait until I've finished my morning coffee and today's newspaper?"