Newspaper Readers Gifts

Family all doing different things around the breakfast table.

Checking the obituary page...'you're not there.'

When Dogs Appear To Be Thinking.

'Wow, look! Uncle Harry is in the paper!'

Old wife knits a newspaper for her husband.

"He just woke up from hibernation."

Satyric Press

'That was fun!'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

Reading the sports pages.

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

Rhinoceros Is Most Intelligent Ungulate

"I've seen a tulip before."

'Scientists say that crosswords activate brain...'

"Now that you've won the Super Bowl what will you do next?"

"Well, I think we come back as newspapers." "You're nuts."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

Cleaner dusting under man's toupee.

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Dog bringing paper and paper boy.

'He's great, he can even fetch the paper. Off the neighbour's step.'

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

"Yes dear, I know lots of people have a second honeymoon. But we only got back from our first one last week."

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

"Are those my slippers?!"

Highlights for Adults

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

Paper Boy