Newspaper Readers Gifts

Family all doing different things around the breakfast table.

Checking the obituary page...'you're not there.'

When Dogs Appear To Be Thinking.

'Wow, look! Uncle Harry is in the paper!'

Old wife knits a newspaper for her husband.

"He just woke up from hibernation."

Satyric Press

'That was fun!'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

Reading the sports pages.

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

Rhinoceros Is Most Intelligent Ungulate

'Scientists say that crosswords activate brain...'

"Well, I think we come back as newspapers." "You're nuts."

"Now that you've won the Super Bowl what will you do next?"

"I've seen a tulip before."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Cleaner dusting under man's toupee.

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

"Yes dear, I know lots of people have a second honeymoon. But we only got back from our first one last week."

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

Dog bringing paper and paper boy.

'He's great, he can even fetch the paper. Off the neighbour's step.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

Paper Boy

Highlights for Adults

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."