Newspaper Lover Gifts

"Are those my slippers?!"

Your father will have to enjoy your amusing little Tweet later, dear. He's doing anti-social media right now.

'Correction,Dear- it's OUR newspaper!'

Dog piddles on man reading a newspaper.

"We should be grateful for all the help wanted ads in the newspaper. They keep us from freezing to death."

Newspaper

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

Reading the sports pages.

Rhinoceros Is Most Intelligent Ungulate

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"Well, I think we come back as newspapers." "You're nuts."

Cleaner dusting under man's toupee.

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

Big Newspaper Delivery

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

When Dogs Appear To Be Thinking.

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

H L Mencken.

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

Sunday.

"What's a copper nitrate...?"

"Get a move on Hardwicke, we need it for the 6 o'clock news!"

"Darling, there's an offer for a time-share nest in Florida: Should we apply?"

"I hope I live long enough to see Bush's view of his legacy come true! I'll be around a long, long, long time!"

'That's nothing new. Thatcher had a similar plan, but she called hers; 'Every man for himself'.'

Dog fetching a newspaper and then reading it himself.

'you just don't get the idea of being a watchdog, do you?'

'Normally I don't like a newspaper because of its pictures.'