Newspaper Reader Admirer Gifts

"I'm getting a little peckish. Hey! How dare you ignore me. I don't care if I have to go out or not, I'm waking you up at 4 a.m."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

JET (Part I)

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

When Dogs Appear To Be Thinking.

"Are those my slippers?!"

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

"Yes, we still love print, don't we?"

'I want to sue my veterinarian. He didn't keep doctorpatient confidentiality and blabbed about my sex change operation to the tabloids.'

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

Leisure Editor

Sunday.

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

'Inflated gloom!'

'you just don't get the idea of being a watchdog, do you?'

Man to other: 'You don't really know what it's like until you've walked a mile in another man's scandal.'

'Grandpa isn't very child-friendly, is he?'

'Your polar ice cap is melting.'

'Oh great, now, not only am I cursed, but my photo is on the front page of the tabloids...'

"Rapunzel? Rapunzel moved out years ago. I'm Bruce, and I have a stack of old newspaper clippings I'd like to show you."

"According to the Times, the cartoonist drew my right hand wrong."

"Reading the Sunday Funnies 'religiously' does not count as worship."

'Normally I don't like a newspaper because of its pictures.'

"Can't you forget about the FT for once?"

'How long has what been going on?'

'Look. I fetch it - I get to read it first.'

'Gladys, I don't think you should let Buster fetch the paper anymore.'

Squeeze on Public Spending.

'So we print it every four years. What do you call that?'

'Dave, why did we marry?' 'You wanted part of the paper.'