Mystery Humor Fan Gifts

'Gronk head broke, and Oog have CLUB!'

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

Skipping Horse

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Faster, Georges, faster!

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

Introducing...Anagraman.

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Trump Poutine

He looks so natural lying there...

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

'Check out the old dude.'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'