Unexpected Humor Fan Gifts

'So there I was thinking I was in lipo-sculpture, when really it was Colonic irrigation...anal vapour-blasting more like it'

Acme quick sand

'The good news is that a knockout by the ring girl wont count against your record.'

"I keep telling you, poppy-seed bagels are nothing but trouble."

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

Tell Warden Fusco that if he doesn't meet our demands he's going to have another Attica on his hands!

Prosthetic snake.

Beware of sissified, but tough dog!

Men at work.

'Better than looking at four walls is here.'

Faster, Georges, faster!

I hate it when they start without us.

Man's Dog Begging For Him.

Tennis player.

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Introducing...Anagraman.

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

The Snooze Bar.

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.