Unexpected Humor Fans Gifts

'I'm being let go. Twenty years I give this place, and that's the thanks I get.'

Man on desert island sees tightrope walker on horizon.

Faster, Georges, faster!

Theatre Masks and Butts

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

Tequila Mockingbird

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Maybe I'm aiming too high...maybe 'saving for a cool car' is too hard."

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

The circus diver.

'Guess who's teething?'

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'Henry, cut that out.'

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

"What?!"

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

Beer Lunch

Under New Mismanagement

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

Beware of sissified, but tough dog!

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

Sure, snoring is a big issue at our house too: you've seen the size of my dad's nose...

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

'Oops, actually, this is a cockroach I squashed the other day.'

Sawrd Fighting