Unexpected Humor Seekers Gifts

Cleaning Pig 'They're actually very clean animals.'

"It's okay mate, I only need the cork from your bottle."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

Piranhaclaus

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'Oh, crap.'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"It's probably just seasonal."

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

Family members!

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

Unicorn Working From Home

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

'I'm an atheist!'

Now that we've developed lungs, it's only a matter of time before we feel guilty about not exercising.

Shell Fire

"Static cling."

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'