Unexpected Humor Seekers Pillows

Cleaning Pig 'They're actually very clean animals.'

"It's okay mate, I only need the cork from your bottle."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Piranhaclaus

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"It's probably just seasonal."

Family members!

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

'I'm an atheist!'

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"Static cling."

Shell Fire

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

Unicorn Working From Home

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

'She looks just like you when you were that age.'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"