Quirky Humor Seekers Pillows

'Would you like the correct time and temperature with your transaction?'

Cow can

'Let me back in, nothing but pigeon shit.'

"Rats, they've not been shorn! We can't eat sheep today, the wool makes my throat itchy..."

'OK, you try it' (Learner bank robbers).

Rushmore Island.

'It was rumoured Henshott's father had been involved in certain genetic and biological cross-breeding experiments...''

Big Bird

'We've got the neighbours from hell.'

"I'm Skeets McCarthy, I've always wanted to meet you and tell you how greatly I've admired your work."

'I'm afraid I can't get rid of your pests on account of a - seniority!'

'Notice: Blueplate special may cause urine discoloration.'

Cat barking.

A Car checking out some Cardigans made for Cars

"....I never feel truly alive until someone sticks their hand up my butt."

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"You left this on our ship."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

Theatre Masks and Butts

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"Fresh pepper?"

Blind man walking a tortoise.

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

Introducing...Anagraman.

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'