Quirky Humor Hunter Pillows

'What? When you cross a bloodsucker with a pair of antlers? A moose-quito!'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'The circle is complete!'

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

"You left this on our ship."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Four

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

Glance Exchange

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'