Quirky Joke Seeker Pillows

Brazilian Squirrels

'Do you know how to make something called 'Casketon the beach?''

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"You left this on our ship."

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

Astral Projection

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

Family members!

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

Farmer and FIsherman

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

'Can I have flies with that'

Unicorn Working From Home

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

He wanted a different one.

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

"Static cling."

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

Jars containing a Brain and a Brain Fart.