Unconventional Humor Seeker Gifts

Gun Crime.

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

Meds Toast

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

Vampire shaving cut dilemma.

'Now that's what I call an overactive thyroid.'

True confession

"Seriously, Ice-Skating? You want to try out Ice-Skating?!"

Atomic Bear: Part 28

New Belief Systems

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

Antiques roadshow: 'Yes it's definitely Silver'

'So much for his new glasses...he didn't see that coming'

"Stay back. I don't know what he's got, but I'm afraid it's catching."

'My investment advice is to relax, stop and smell the roses, dig up the roses, bury a million dollars beneath the roses.'

Axel, as long as you're going to the kitchen, would you get me a beer? I'm sorry, Lance, but the comic strip code forbids teen wolverines from handling beer

Wave to the Goldfish!

"That's one 50-gallon drum of shampoo, one 50-gallon drum of conditioner, and one leaf-blower. Sign here."

John Dryden

"Are any of these the perpetrator?"

'Fighting broke out today between rival U. N. peacekeeping factions....'

O'Leary's Monuments

"I'll have whatever is hot, fast, and artisanal."

The Grim Raker

"It's okay mate, I only need the cork from your bottle."

"It's always poor you, isn't it, Albert?"

'The mincer's busted!'

'Socks! Socks!'

'Brilliant! I love it! I'll give you ?25,000!'

Cleaning Pig 'They're actually very clean animals.'

Incontinent ballistic missile