Unexpected Humor Seeker Gifts

Antiques roadshow: 'Yes it's definitely Silver'

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

Axel, as long as you're going to the kitchen, would you get me a beer? I'm sorry, Lance, but the comic strip code forbids teen wolverines from handling beer

"Oh hi. I'm in a five car pile-up!"

O'Leary's Monuments

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Faster, Georges, faster!

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

Family members!

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

"Static cling."

Unicorn Working From Home

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

'Goodness, the potholes are deep this year, aren't they?'

Drinking Companions

Bear who goes drinking instead of hibernating

'See, there are no people in your closet. Now, go to sleep!'

Chicken Funeral Planning.

Nit and Flea picking 'Next please...'

Portrait of Shakespeare smoking.

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

Pioneers of the ancient west

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

Vampire shaving cut dilemma.

Beware of sissified, but tough dog!

'Oops, actually, this is a cockroach I squashed the other day.'

'Honda has recalled the U.S. Sixth Fleet due to leaky sunroofs.'

Ariel prepares for her big date.

"So this bacon in my ear - d'you think it can be cured..?"

If you play this record backwards you can hear xmas carols and heavenly choirs...

Prosthetic snake.

Successful killers use gas powered chainsaws only.

'Now that's what I call an overactive thyroid.'