Alternative Humor Seekers Gifts

Kabul Klub

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

Piranhaclaus

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'Oh, crap.'

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"It's probably just seasonal."

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

Shell Fire

Now that we've developed lungs, it's only a matter of time before we feel guilty about not exercising.

'I'm an atheist!'

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"Do you know Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?"

'She looks just like you when you were that age.'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

Fishing Boat Derby

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

Beware of the Cat.

Easter Candy Island.