Alternative Humor Seekers T-Shirts

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

Piranhaclaus

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"It's probably just seasonal."

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

'I'm an atheist!'

Shell Fire

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

Fishing Boat Derby

"Do you know Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?"

'She looks just like you when you were that age.'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

Beware of the Cat.

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

"Wait a minute, is that toad I taste? I told you I've gone vegan, Cynthia!"