Unexpected Humor Fans Pillows

'I'm being let go. Twenty years I give this place, and that's the thanks I get.'

Man on desert island sees tightrope walker on horizon.

Faster, Georges, faster!

Theatre Masks and Butts

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Tequila Mockingbird

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

The circus diver.

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,

'Guess who's teething?'

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

'Henry, cut that out.'

Sure, snoring is a big issue at our house too: you've seen the size of my dad's nose...

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

Under New Mismanagement

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

Beer Lunch

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

"What?!"

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

Beware of sissified, but tough dog!

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

Sawrd Fighting

'Oops, actually, this is a cockroach I squashed the other day.'

The afternoons are okay, it's at night that I can't sleep.