Unexpected Hilarity Fan Pillows

"Okay, okay - I'll keep my day job!"

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Faster, Georges, faster!

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'I found the termites!'

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

The Snooze Bar.

Beer Parasol.

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

No, I don

tRUMp, Pirate President

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

"Fish finder."

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

Presidential surveillance ass!"

The bird feeder.

"Can you keep a secret?"

"So! When's the big day?"

"Buster, run this past legal."