Accidental Humor Fan Pillows

The best place for a dartboard is not beside an open window.

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Faster, Georges, faster!

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

The Brothers Grime

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Pastry Hat

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Beer Parasol.

Winter Weather.

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

Boomerang cow.

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"Fish finder."