Accidental Humorist Pillows

Banana Warning

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

'It wasn't premeditated.

'...Plus $847.93 for replacing our front door....'

"Larry does all his own stunts."

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

'Oy!...Did you spill my pinata!?'

'Oops, actually, this is a cockroach I squashed the other day.'

Bathing and Showering.

'There's nothing good to eat!'

I think the speed grazing record is in the bag!

"I blacked out for ten minutes this morning - Then I realised I had put my hoodie on backwards."

A Not So Grand Slam.

'I just found out that our credit union is illusory!'

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is McWit Construction actually finished a job on time.'

A bowls player bowling a bomb

A man walks three dogs at gunpoint

Cotton candy

Shy Man at Party

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'

"Can you hear me now?"

"The adventures of Robin Hood are becoming a lot less adventurous."

"I didn't spend seventeen days climbing this bloody mountain, in all weathers, for a lecture on personal hygiene!"

A statue of a baseball player swinging a bat stands next to a building with a broken glass window.

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

"Well done!"

Upon winning another bowling championship, Dalton throws his ball to the spectators.