Unexpected Humour Fans Pillows

This is not what I had in mind.

Faster, Georges, faster!

Theatre Masks and Butts

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

>Enter new password: BEEF STEW >Password not stroganoff.

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

Beware of sissified, but tough dog!

'Oops, actually, this is a cockroach I squashed the other day.'

The afternoons are okay, it's at night that I can't sleep.

'I used to chase cars. Now I chase yield.'

'Waiter. Tonight, we're pulling out all the stops! Get her the steak special and I'll have the pork chops.'

Prosthetic snake.

"Sorry, Jeff. This just isn't working as I'd hoped."

Man on desert island sees tightrope walker on horizon.

"Looks like beach weather."

"Out bending spoons at Pop's diner."

A man walks three dogs at gunpoint

"Okay, okay - I'll keep my day job!"

A bowls player bowling a bomb

'That's Cat from Eastenders.'

'I'm afraid you're a little late for the book signing, Mr. Dickens.'

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

Coping with Normalcy

Apple Tree Dispenser

'Cream?'

'A most powerful, moving and scary book - botanists will love it!'

"Talk about playing hard to get! She won't let me bite her on the neck until after we're married."

He's practising for his slot standing on the plinth not saying anything next October