Unexpected Humor Gifts

"Unexpected Spanish Inquisition in bagging area ..."

Couple jump off lover's leap:'Sandra, is that a parachute you're wearing?!'

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

Faster, Georges, faster!

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

Ostriches making out

"Underweird bras."

The circus diver.

"I guess one of the bunnies was a boy after all!"

'Edible food! Eeeeedible food!'

'I've got an amoeba here who wants to go to Officer's Candidate School.'

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

Beware of sissified, but tough dog!

'Oops, actually, this is a cockroach I squashed the other day.'

Prosthetic snake.

'The wife has me on a strict 'O Negative' diet.'

Man on desert island sees tightrope walker on horizon.

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is McWit Construction actually finished a job on time.'

Frank Loved Bubblewrap

A man walks three dogs at gunpoint

"Okay, okay - I'll keep my day job!"

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

Mom's Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.95.

Farmer Doll!

At First Van Gogh attempts to impress by cutting off his ear flap.

A bowls player bowling a bomb

Antiques roadshow: 'Yes it's definitely Silver'

"I've just broken my glasses... Will I have to be examined all over again?"

Vendors.

Outside the Novox Genlab, a man is walking a cow.