Mountain Climber's Humor Gifts

There's no way you could have attained Nirvana already — you don't even have hemorrhoids yet.

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

LOOK BHIND U!

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

Fork in the trail.

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

'We were hoping You'd just say 'Be fruitful and multiply' again.'

'I told you: The way down is faster.'

'Look Dad - bigfoot!'

'It's going to be hard to get lost in these woods!'

Mountain escalator.

"Up here! Beef jerky, trail mix, energy bars!"

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

"Do you hear dueling tubas?"

"First you forget the flag! Now you tell me you don't know how to yodel!"

THE GRAND TETONS EN BUSTIER

'Just stop for a minute. Smell that pine scent. Drink in the view. I don't think we could pick a better site for our 'Mega-Mall'!'

"Because we're jerks."

Physicists' Convention: Quantum Leap.

'Guilty? Do you realize what that will do to my 'Who's Who' listing?'

"Wow! Joe really did a nice job on the latrine."

Border Guard

'He hasn't done anything yet, it's just with all this gear on, he can't stand up!'

"It's customary to climb all the way up."

'Looks like we're having bacon and eggs for breakfast. Ready?'

"What do I do when I get to the top?"

"How'd you know I was from New York?"

Frisbee Flies By Mountain Climbers

'Hike the Alps? I'm getting out of breath just keeping my foot on the accelerator!'

Man with butt full of porcupine quills posting sign to warn others.