Mountain Humorist Gifts

"That's Mount Keister. Be Careful though, it could go off at any time!"

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

Skiing.

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

Irritable trowel syndrome.

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

I fart more than that!

A Venus cow trap.

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

"Well if it comes to that you're not exactly Mr Wonderful."

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

Pop Top Ice FIshing

Bird Symbol Hunting

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

Mountain climbers, "Someone's been here before us."

LOOK BHIND U!

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

"Perhaps I should have warned you...They really don't like wholemeal bread."

"Have you farted. . . ?"

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

'Clayton enjoys living on the edge,'

Oh yeah! It does echo when you moo very loudly!

'I do enjoy the winter olympics.'

Fork in the trail.

'I just know baby is getting as much out of this world trip as we are.'

'Ok, so we agree that we're going to throw them into the cactus.'

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

'If a bear attacks and I have to play dead I want it to be as convincing as possible!'

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."