Trail Humorist Gifts

'Definitely says bear left.'

Bad trap laying.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

The leaning tower of Pizza.

LOOK BHIND U!

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

Biliard Enthusiast

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'