Hiking Humorist Gifts

THE GRAND TETONS EN BUSTIER

Fork in the trail.

'When did I first start rambling? Well, it's a long story...'

'The secret of happiness? Well, for me it would be a tube of hemorrhoid ointment.'

Physicists' Convention: Quantum Leap.

'Hike the Alps? I'm getting out of breath just keeping my foot on the accelerator!'

'I tried to join the local rambling club - but the man on the phone just went on and on and on..."

Mountaineer using elevator.

"So how does that eightfold path get us back on the Garden State?"

Man with butt full of porcupine quills posting sign to warn others.

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

'Ahhhh...it almost smells like our bathroom air freshener.'

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

Detour, Knot ahead (Termites).

"Don't drink that natural spring water! The aquifer's polluted with agrochemicals!"

LOOK BHIND U!

Rip Van Winkle Slept, Slept and Slept Here.

"I was social distancing. Until you showed up."

"I don't know about this, Billy. I hear there are mice in these woods."

Watch their step.

"I don't often see you in this neck of the woods."

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

"I say we ignore it. Some limey is yanking our chain."

Hiking trail. Speed limit 4 mph.

"Wow! Joe really did a nice job on the latrine."

Echo Valley

On longer walks, Alan often had to answer the call of nature.

Walking sticks

'Looks like we're having bacon and eggs for breakfast. Ready?'

"We're not migrating. We're searching for a stronger wifi signal."

Danger: Shag Carpet.

"It's customary to climb all the way up."

"How'd you know I was from New York?"

"Do you hear dueling tubas?"

"No great revelations, no, but he did offer me a one month free trial of Linked-in premium."