Modern Holiday Observer Gifts

Electronic Santa.

Santa tweet

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Christmas Tree

'He lives for his holidays.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"Home depot."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

Horn of Leftovers

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

"I have no toys just yet. I have a concept of a plan for toys...toys like no one has ever seen before."

Happy Turkey Day!

Children's Dreams on Christmas Eve

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

'I've got no problem with December, but what do I blog about the rest of the year?'

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

'I love all the seasons! Fall and winter have great holidays, and spring and summer school gets out!'

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'Wow! School's only been out for ten minutes, and I've already forgotten everything I learned.'

North Pole twinned with Amazon

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'Will you be my Valentine?'

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."