Modern Holiday Planner Gifts

"I've outsourced my delivery service this year your toys will be delivered by drones."

Santa Claus's Mail

Airlines

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Mr. Punch in Venice

Heading off with a packed bag

Italia tours

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"I know it’s a challenge, but it needs your input!" "...Your breadth of knowledge of different interest groups, religions...cultures!" "Right, so the staff Christmas meal will be a traditional lacto-vegan one at a Thai restaurant sometime in March?" "Do you think the Pagans will be OK with that?"

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

North Pole twinned with Amazon

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Man on beach realizes laying down flattens his stomach

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

'We must have everything... this is all that's left!'

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

'Let it go, Amy.'

"We can't go. We don't have enough carbon offset credits to get to the Grand Canyon."

"Well, all I know is he left on vacation to unwind... and he never wound-up again!"

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

'I'm tired of sitting and staying.'

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."