Festive Season Observer Gifts

'Talk about post-holiday depression - I don't have a thing to do for nearly a year.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

Happy New Ear!

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

Great Moment in North Pole History

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

"And if you don't know what to say, just say, 'Ho, ho, ho!''

Papa, how come Rudolph has a red nose? Because he's a drunk, son. Plain and simple.

Santa Elevator

Accept cookies?

"Each year John has so much trouble untangling the lights, they're on him longer than the tree!"

"I don't care what your father said, Santa likes milk and cookies NOT beer and pretzels!"

"Due to budget cuts, I will be your Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future."

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

Christmas Cow.

"It's a party Jim, but not as we know it!"

Notice! Due to COVID, all reindeer games are postponed indefinitely.

Santa Claus