Midlife Rejuvenator Gifts

Two years ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, My son just taught me how to use an iPad, so I am writing to tell you that doing so makes me feel young again. You might want to try it. - Nathaniel from Ontario. Thank you for helping me feel young! I may not be as spry as I was back in the old days ... but at least I've never taken two whol

"Your contents have shifted."

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

New life (organ donation)

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

Menopause and the City

"You want to grow a ponytail? OK...as long as it's not from hair growing out of your ears."

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

How Gary got his groove back.

'I think it's time we got a new headboard.'

Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out

"Hey, I know - why don't we go on a little crime spree?"

"She always gets the upper bunk."

"This next one's for you, babe."

"A see through nighty? God who'd want to see you through that?"

"I used to be innocent. Then I was naive. Now I'm just dumb."

'I hate it when teen angst becomes mid-age angst.'

"The combover works even less now that you're using your back hair."

"Don't worry about being in your 40's - before you know it, you'll be in your 50's!"

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

'How come they're making size 16 smaller these days?'

'No pep, shaky, noisy, overheating. Right. Anything wrong with the car?'

'Just give her a chance to cool down. It's probably hormonal.'

'Jeez, Hon - ain't you ever goin' wear your 'yes' jammies again!?'

"Give her a few minutes, she just realized she's reached the age when you get excited by things like air fryers."

'We still like you and all, but ever since you came out of that cocoon. . . I don't know, man. You've changed. . . You've changed.'