Spiritual Rejuvenator Gifts

'This is my grandmother. She's getting a faith lift this week.'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Home depot."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'You must heal yourself.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Christian and Born again Christian...

FAQs.

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

Sale. To do this job you just need to follow the old adage and "dance like nobody's watching"!

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

'St. Joseph's Church,today's sermon, the road to heaven (free maps)'

The Path

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"All the celebrities come here."

"Did you have a cat?"

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are