Spiritual Renewal Gifts

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

The only way to see the world is to see the world

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

Courage. Love.

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

'You've changed.'

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

2pm meet your Creator

Steve found himself on his travels.

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"The good news is, I got religion!"

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

'Goopta took early retirement.'

Olympic Sabbath Torch.

"Not only do I not know the meaning of life, I also forgot why I came up here."

"You'll find it's lonely at the top."

'Wow! Who knows what eroticism lurks in the heart of a sister.'

My dad's doing flowers for a huge sweet 16 party. Everyone's invited except me! Who cares? It's probably some loser who couldn't get anyone to come over without going over the top. Thanks, Em! You know what's important. Plus! We'll figure out whose party it is and crash it! You're my spiritual guide.

Yahweh/Your Way

'Hey - enlighten up!'

"It's just that you might find food a lot cheaper!"

"Don't just stand there, do nothing."

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

Growing Churches

"I didn't say, 'Simon says'..."

'Nobody told me anything about pre-registraton!'