Marital Rejuvenation Gifts

Agatha tried desperately to spice up her marriage. 'And where, ma'am, would you like that tattoo?'

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"Remember? I was sitting right up there when you came by and said 'Hi, beautiful!'"

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

"I love what you've done with him."

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'I think it's time we got a new headboard.'

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

"Hey, I know - why don't we go on a little crime spree?"

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

"I may not be in for a while, Eddie. My wife and I have decided to normalize relations."

"She always gets the upper bunk."

"Well that's a load of baloney. I brought you here didn't I?"

Woman does a strip tease on a remote control.

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

"A see through nighty? God who'd want to see you through that?"

'And he seems to think he's God's gift to women.'

"We're cutting back on therapy. You?"

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

'When you finally decided to communicate, neither of you said anything worth listening to?'

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."

"Please, Dianna, at least give me a chance to rebrand myself."

"Our marriage counselor would be so proud of us now."

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

"I say 'tomarto', he says 'tomayto', I say 'portarto', he says 'potayto'. Why else do you think we're here?"