Marriage Reconciliation Gifts

Henry Adams was very good at his job (marriage counselor).

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

Time for tea and friendship.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"And this is Helen, my wife by a previous marriage."

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

Trilby - 'Oh my poor girl! my poor girl!'

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

"I thought we swore never to go to bed angry."

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"I have been happily married... three times!"

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

'I agreed to a relationship coach, not a referee.'

Richard and Wendy Kozier, of Saddle River, New Jersey, with U.N. Peacekeeping Contingent

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

Heart is sewn back together.

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

"Can I call you back, I'm engaged in crisis talks."

'I've been happily married for 15 years... that covers 3 marriages.'

'He's sending 2,400 roses to win her back, and charging it to her credit card.'

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

'Whenever he feels under attack, he calls for backup.'

"May I remind you that our prenuptial agreement called for me to take the plants?"

"You keep everything bottled up inside."

"My seven-year-old is a prince, but my forty-seven-year-old is a pain in the ass."

"I really think Diana is going to be my watershed wife."

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

"Look, I'm not denying the validity of your grievances. I just think they'd be better addressed at home, Helen."