Re-marriage Gifts

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

Vicar tells bride, 'We can't go on meeting like this'.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"It was romantic during dinner, but now it's getting kind of creepy."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

What an afternoon. Rudy, listen to me. It didn't mean anything. You can't play Xbox 360 all afternoon with a guy and pretend it means nothing. I was drunk! You loved it - all of it. The racing and arcade games, the first-person shooters, but especially ... No ... WWF Wrestling Smackdown. I'm a married woman!

"And this is Helen, my wife by a previous marriage."

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

"Sure, I'd get married again, but who wants a she-wolf with two adopted children?"

"I wish I'd had the eye test before I got married."

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

"I have been happily married... three times!"

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

"The toaster your brother gave us is beginning to get on my nerves."

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

'How about June? -- I've always had June weddings!'

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

Kindly readers, our resident counselor, Sadie Cohen, will be answering actual questions sent to her via email. Prepare to get an earful of wisdom! Dr. Sadie, I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman who I wish to marry but am still reeling from my first marriage scares me. How do I get over that fear? Signed, Fearful in Salt Lake City. Fear is a worthless emotion. It doesn't help at all. What you should be feeling is terror. Run for your life.

"He just married me on the rebound."

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

"I never thought I'd get married again."

"I told you not to leave without taking out the garbage!"

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

"My seven-year-old is a prince, but my forty-seven-year-old is a pain in the ass."

"I really think Diana is going to be my watershed wife."

'I've been happily married for 15 years... that covers 3 marriages.'

"He's a terrific photographer but weddings are not his specialty."