Second Marriage Gifts

'Meet Mummy's new husband. We hope to realize a number of economies through this merger and ask for your patience during the transition period.'

'We think it's only fitting that second marriage licenses be printed on recycled paper.'

"Oh, that - that's the hard drive from my first marriage."

"This is a great place to work...they give you a day off every time you get married!"

Second marriage vows.

'I'd always assumed that only hormone replacement therapy could make me feel better. Then I discovered husband replacement therapy. . .'

Second Marriage Vows.

"That's my mum and her boyfriend's the one next to my dad who's behind his girlfriend next to his second wife, just behind my mums first husband."

'You CAN change a man, but then they divorce you, remarry and the new wife reaps all the benefits.'

Page boy blowing his nose on the Brides Train Veil.

"My wife wants to spend Halloween with her first husband."

The second time around they cut you a little more slack.

Hernia clinic: 'You either have to quit getting married, or quit carrying your new bride over the threshold!'

'The limousine they sent us has flashing lights and a siren.'

"Yeah, well my first husband left me for a tennis ball."

'Shall we have a small family Alfred? - I've got 10 kids from my first marriage!'

"And these two are from my first mortgage."

"Trust me, David, he meant nothing - it was just a training marriage."

"Oh, darling, whatever happens- ever- I know I'm probably always going to remember this as one of my happiest marriages."

'This is Claire, my prequel, and Cynthia, my sequel.'

'Camilla, I don't mind you writing your own vows but you can't start 'Now Diana is dead...''

'Just what vows do you want to renew?'

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

Bride keeping score.

"This place looks familiar - are you SURE we haven't been married before?"

'I understand each candle represents one of the groom's former marriages.'

'Carl still has that new husband smell.'

'This will be the second marriage for both of us, so give it your best shot.'

Brides are wearing their dresses shorter... And more often!

'Yes, I would like to go on a second honeymoon, provided it was with my second husband!'

"I love that new husband smell."

'It's his second marriage and her third.'

'Do you believe this, Hon - I was married to her ex-husband's ex-wife!'

'You could say she's good for the economy-she keeps teams of divorce lawyers busy.'

'I should know, I've had six wonderful marriages.'