Multiple Marriages Gifts

"This is a great place to work...they give you a day off every time you get married!"

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

"I've been to all his weddings."

"He sounds like a classic first husband."

"Ideally, husbands should be spaced at least three years apart."

'This is his forth wedding you know.'

'I should know, I've had six wonderful marriages.'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

"When I take your arm Charlene, there's no need to flex."

"Sure, I'd get married again, but who wants a she-wolf with two adopted children?"

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

Double Wedding

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

"I never thought I'd get married again."

Kindly readers, our resident counselor, Sadie Cohen, will be answering actual questions sent to her via email. Prepare to get an earful of wisdom! Dr. Sadie, I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman who I wish to marry but am still reeling from my first marriage scares me. How do I get over that fear? Signed, Fearful in Salt Lake City. Fear is a worthless emotion. It doesn't help at all. What you should be feeling is terror. Run for your life.

'How about June? -- I've always had June weddings!'

'Forget the wheel. Invent diapers.'

"Wake up. It says here I was right about that thing I said."

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

'My parents are out bonding at an annuities seminar. Would you like to leave a message?'