Multiple Marriages Gifts

"This is a great place to work...they give you a day off every time you get married!"

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

"I've been to all his weddings."

"He sounds like a classic first husband."

"Ideally, husbands should be spaced at least three years apart."

'This is his forth wedding you know.'

'I should know, I've had six wonderful marriages.'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

"When I take your arm Charlene, there's no need to flex."

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

"Sure, I'd get married again, but who wants a she-wolf with two adopted children?"

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

Double Wedding

'How about June? -- I've always had June weddings!'

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

"I never thought I'd get married again."

'Forget the wheel. Invent diapers.'

'My parents are out bonding at an annuities seminar. Would you like to leave a message?'

"Wake up. It says here I was right about that thing I said."

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

'Carl still has that new husband smell.'