Navigating Multiple Marriages Gifts

Polygamist

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

"Sure, I'd get married again, but who wants a she-wolf with two adopted children?"

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

"When I take your arm Charlene, there's no need to flex."

Cricketer goes for marriage guidance

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

"I never thought I'd get married again."

'How about June? -- I've always had June weddings!'

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

'My parents are out bonding at an annuities seminar. Would you like to leave a message?'

'Carl still has that new husband smell.'

Cyber Fight

Henry, sire, do you think having you're wife's name tattooed on your chest is a good idea?

'I fail to see the equality here. You have eight cats and I only have Casper.'

'And will you take this man to the cleaners....'

'Yes, I would like to go on a second honeymoon, provided it was with my second husband!'

"O.K., class, next we'll pound out the dough until that ungrateful, self-centered son of a bitch realizes he's not the center of the world, and maybe, just maybe, he doesn't deserve an attractive, well-educated woman with a wonderful sense of humor."

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

"Look, will you forget about them? They're in the past. The important thing is what I feel now – about you!"

'What did I say to annoy you? I may want to say it again.'

"Melanie, this is my husband, Greg, and Greg's jacket from a previous marriage."

'Happy anniversary! It's a season pass for us to go to marriage counseling.'

We should talk...

"It's time to bring in the wax begonias and your mother."

"That's my mum and her boyfriend's the one next to my dad who's behind his girlfriend next to his second wife, just behind my mums first husband."